Procrastination is a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting or completing any task or decision. -Neil Fiore in The Now Habit (Overcoming Procrastination)
The Now Habit (previously titled Overcoming Procrastination) is not a weight loss book, but the techniques inside it can help you stop procrastinating, and help you lose weight. I read it for the first time last year, and re-read it again this year because it is so useful. Alas, even though I learned how to stop procrastinating on weight loss years ago, I still procrastinate in other areas.
Fiore describes procrastination as a pernicious cycle that unfolds like this:
Perfectionistic demands → fear of failure → PROCRASTINATION → self-criticism → anxiety and depression → loss of confidence → greater fear of failure → stronger need to use PROCRASTINATION
This describes precisely the cycle I found myself in when I was obese. My perfectionist demands were that I must get down to the perfect weight, eat the perfect things, and have the perfect body. Of course, those demands made me very nervous. I knew I loved to eat things that most people deem imperfect (ranch dressing, Snickers bars, Double Stuf Oreos, gravy, and biscuits). Furthermore, I had stretch marks, cellulite, and flab, so the perfect body was out of the question too. And what was the perfect weight for me, exactly? I really couldn’t find the answer to that. So I’d put off trying to lose weight, because, why bother, if I’m not going to do it perfectly?
Of course, this led to self-criticism. I was obese, after all. I criticized myself harshly for my lack of trying to get the weight off, my lack of self-control and discipline. Naturally, this led to anxiety and depression. I constantly worried about what my obesity meant for my overall health. And this led me to feel sad and in a funk. It’s hard to feel confident when you feel like that, which then makes it hard to even get up the nerve to try to lose weight. I feared trying and failing. I also feared trying, succeeding, and then ultimately failing. My real worst fear was losing the weight and then regaining it yet again.
And because the stakes felt so high, I would procrastinate. I’d put off trying because that felt more comfortable. There was another aspect to my procrastination: it was a way for me to express some resentment. You see, when I was obese, I sometimes felt like a victim. There were times when I convinced myself that my weight was not really in my control. The food corporations were to blame, with their engineering food to the bliss point, or the marketing and portion sizes that made it practically impossible to eat the right foods in the right amounts. There were many times when I felt like I wasn’t the one who wanted to lose weight. It was everyone else/society who was pressuring me to lose weight. I was just fine with being obese. At least, that’s what, I tried to tell myself. But the truth was, I was miserable, physically and mentally.
A big part of my weight loss journey was finally getting to the bottom of what I actually wanted. I had to come to terms with the fact that I was the one who had chosen to put every single bite in my mouth, and that I was therefore responsible for every single pound I put on. Furthermore, I was absolutely free to choose to remain obese. No one could truly force me to lose weight. If I wanted to lose it, I could. If I wanted to keep myself obese I could. If I wanted to get myself somewhere in the middle of those two places, I could. The moment I truly grasped that, I was empowered—but the journey didn’t end there. I needed to learn how to change my internal dialogue.
Fiore does an excellent job of explaining this process in his book, and it resonated with my journey. Here are 5 self statements that he says procrastinators use, and how to change them:
I have to. → I choose to.
You do not have to lose weight. No one, not your spouse, your doctor, or your kids can force you to lose weight. Refuse to fall into the trap of thinking anyone is making you. No one can make you lose weight. You can choose to lose weight. Or you can choose to stay the weight you are. It’s in your power to do either one. (And neither one makes you worth less as a human being.)
I must finish. → When can I start?
Your goal weight is not the most important thing. In fact, your goal weight is an educated guess at best. Most likely you don’t actually care about weighing 135 lbs. What you actually want is to feel comfortable in your own skin and enjoy good health. That can happen in a wide weight range. Sitting around and thinking about the finish line won’t really help you. It’s the taking action that will change your life. As you make changes and see progress, you’ll find a natural stopping point that makes sense for you. And besides, you’re never really finished. Maintenance lasts for the rest of your life.
This is so big. → I can take one small step.
When you have a good chunk of weight to lose, it can feel overwhelming. Instead of thinking about the big chunk, focus on just the next pound. If you have a step goal to get yourself moving, don’t focus on the big number. Focus on the fact that you can take one more step. You don’t need to overhaul your eating, fix your portion sizes, and become active all in one day. Instead, make a small change that you can stick with. Go for a walk after dinner and work on implementing that consistently. Try eating a little slower. You didn’t gain the weight overnight, and you won’t lose it overnight either. Weight loss takes time. Pace yourself.
I must be perfect. → I can be human.
You will mess up on the weight loss journey. The more you can embrace your humanity and have a sense of humor about this whole thing, the better off you will be. You will overeat. You will unintentionally go off plan. You will skip out on your exercise from time to time. None of that precludes you from hitting your weight loss goals and keeping the weight off. Aim to be a B student.
I don’t have time to play. → I must take time to play.
You need to learn how to have some fun in your life. Vacations, holidays, and other frivolities are fun. Learn how to enjoy them. You need to learn how to go off plan from time to time. Taking a break can help you come back refreshed and rejuvenated. Whiteknuckling on your plan through vacations is a good recipe for later resentment and abandoning an otherwise excellent plan.
So, if you’re a procrastinator like me, do yourself a favor and read this book. It’s a good quick read that has a lot of actionable advice that works.