Dear Kayla,
I need mindset advice on sticking with IF without trying to accelerate the process. Please help!
Signed,
Geeta
Dear Geeta,
Thank you for the excellent question. Accelerating the process will be a constant temptation on the weight loss journey. News stories, advertisements, and people around you can give you the impression that weight loss should be fast and effortless. This lie can make you rush. Here are some tips on avoiding those external temptations:
- Be picky about who you hang around.
- Spend very little time on screens.
- Be intentional about what you’re filling your mind with.
- Use aggressive ad blockers. I recommend uBlockOrigin.
- Don’t watch the news.
The other temptation is harder to deal with. That’s the inner temptation, the voice inside you that screams for you to go faster. Mindset work is the trickiest kind of work, because your mental processes are going non-stop while you’re awake. It’s easy to be unaware that you’re entertaining certain thoughts or attitudes. Nine years into this process, I am still working on my mindset. The work is never over.
Here are some strategies that helped me not rush:
#1. Lengthen your timeline for weight loss.
When I weighed in at 222 pounds, I wanted to lose 5 pounds a week and be done with weight loss in a few months’ time. That year I changed my plan frequently, quit constantly, and berated myself all the while because I wasn’t succeeding fast enough. I was ready to give up by December. Thankfully, I sat myself down and reviewed my data. I decided that my big problem was that I was rushing the process. When I was being consistent, I was losing a pound a week. I decided to be happy with that. I decided that even if the whole weight loss process took me 5 years, or even longer, I was okay with that. Permanent weight loss was my new goal.
#2. Focus on building patience.
Once I understood I was impatient, I knew I had to work on that. Young kids can test your patience, and I had three of them. I worked on becoming more patient with them. When one was talking to me, I listened better. If one started whining, I paused and took a slow breath before I responded. I learned to wait for them to do things instead of doing it myself because it was faster and easier.
Learn how to wait. This is how you build patience. When you’re waiting in traffic, calm yourself down. When you’re waiting in line somewhere, learn to enjoy the opportunity to slow down. As you become a more patient person, you’ll also become more patient with the weight loss process. You will patiently wait for your food, accept the number you see on the scale, and bear with yourself kindly when you mess up.
#3. Ask yourself if you could stick with your chosen plan forever.
In 2016, I remember going over to a friend’s house. He had been having fast results with keto. I felt the allure of faster results. But then I asked myself, could I stick with keto? I knew the answer from my experience with previous low-carb diets: no. I would drop some weight fast, but the foods I enjoyed would creep back in, and I’d regain the weight. There will always be some new shiny thing (diets, exercise routines, or weight loss drugs) to tempt you. You must decide you’re not interested in shortcuts that do not permanently change your habits.
It takes time to put the weight on. Reversing the process takes time and, therefore, patience. But sustainable weight loss is worth the wait.
Sincerely,
Kayla