Dear Kayla,
Do you still have a Facebook group? What is the link?
Thanks,
Jan
Dear Jan,
I do not have a Facebook group, but I have my reasons, and it relates to my weight loss journey. In 2015, I was looking for a way to motivate myself to hit my step goal. I made a new rule: I could not use Facebook unless I was walking around. Since Facebook is addictive, I frequently wanted to open the app. When I did, I made myself get up and start walking. I began consistently getting my steps in.
However, all this Facebook surfing led to more stress. I saw a direct connection between seeing a stressful post on Facebook and feeling an urge to go grab a snack. I hid posts and unfollowed people in order to avoid feeling stressed out. Eventually, Facebook was boring, and I stopped using it.
Then I started my YouTube channel. Many subscribers asked if I would start a Facebook group. I had some hesitations about it, but I thought the idea of a community was great. Intermittent fasters could meet up and support each other. People could share victories and stay motivated. So I started the group. There were plenty of nice people who joined right away and started posting positive things. The group grew quickly. Soon, some people were posting things in the group that were off topic and even unhelpful. I saw people giving advice I disagreed with. It took a great deal of time and mental space to moderate it. I resented it. I knew resentment was a signal that something needed to change, so I shut it down.
Later on, I had a Facebook group where I offered group coaching. This was better, because the purpose of the group was clear and it was small. Now I had another problem: in order for the Facebook group to be helpful to the members, I needed to encourage them to log on to Facebook and be active in the group. However, it’s very difficult to log on and only see what’s in a Facebook group, without also seeing arguments and other distracting posts. Eventually, I discontinued the group coaching offer and Facebook group.
During the pandemic, I deleted all my remaining social media accounts. My life without social media has been quieter and calmer. I have a lot more time to read, write, and spend time with my loved ones. I am less distracted.
Social media entices us with a promise of community. But I found community in interactions with my neighbors when I’m out on my walks, when I go to church on Sunday, and when I have friends over for dinner. These relationships in the real world are far better and more fulfilling and have much less drama. I don’t think digital communities, no matter how well-intentioned, can compete.
Sincerely,
Kayla
PS: I have one social media account: I am on YouTube. Still, I try to limit its influence on my mental health by staying out of the comments section.