Today I received an email from OneDrive, inviting me to look at my memories from this day. When I clicked open the email, a familiar face from ten years ago greeted me:
That’s the face I saw every morning in the mirror when I was obese. This photo was just one of many such photos I took in 2014. You see, I got a wake-up call in March of that year. No, I didn’t have a health scare. There was no dire lecture from my doctor. In fact, no one had even chastised me about my weight. What finally put me in gear was simple vanity. I was tagged in some Facebook photos, and I did not recognize myself. I had struggled with my weight my entire life, and when I saw those pictures, I decided that enough was enough. I was going to figure out how to get it off and keep it off, for good. I wasn’t sure how I was going to do that. But one thing I knew I could do was to keep myself aware of exactly what I looked like in pictures. Thus began my weekly “progress photos” and “measurements progress” routine.
The reason I used those quotation marks is because I wasn’t doing anything that would help me make progress on the weight loss journey. Researching metabolism, nutrition, and weight loss stories (successes and failures) took up a lot of my time that year. Meanwhile, I wasn’t implementing meaningful changes. Sure, I had vague plans and intentions. I was going to eat less, move more, and somehow boost my metabolism. I wanted to lose weight but I refused to get on the scale. In other words, I had no way of knowing if I was truly making progress on weight loss.
You might be wondering about the measurements progress part. Well, you see, I was measuring myself with a tape measurer. I had programmed my Google Calendar to send me a notification every week to fill out my measurements progress form. On that form, I had 10 different spots on my body to measure. My thought was that I could avoid the scale and all its drama. But, each week, I created my own drama. I did this by playing a little game called Cheat the Tape. At least, that’s what I should have called it. I refused to call myself out on my own ridiculousness. I pulled the wool over my own eyes. I knew that I was pulling the tape tighter, or sucking in my breath a little more. But I just so badly wanted a victory. The numbers were going down, but it was all a lie. The truth was, I was spinning my wheels.
My “I’ve had enough” moment in March lit a fire under me, but it wasn’t enough to compel me forward. That photo from December shows me at a time when I was finally starting to come to grips with the reality that I had been playing that game with myself. I realized, deep down, that I was doing myself no favors. Despite that smile, I was frustrated. I knew something had to change. Or that a lot had to change. Perhaps that’s why I had been stuck. I was fearful of the unknown. I was afraid of the changes that girl in the photo was going to have to make.
It was around this time that I heard about intermittent fasting. And I bought myself a Fitbit Flex for Christmas. Those two things combined finally put me on a path that led me to put my obesity firmly in the rearview mirror.
My Fitbit woke me up to the fact that I was sedentary. That pushed me to start going to the gym. At the gym, I realized that I needed to face my fear of the scale. On February 20, 2015, I weighed in at 222 pounds. I started practicing intermittent fasting, though I was terrible at it at first. It wasn’t an easy road. It was baby steps. Not only was it baby steps, it was two baby steps forward, one baby step back. Sometimes, two or three back. I struggled with commitment to a plan. I overthought and overcomplicated things. But in 2015 I actually lost some weight: 15 pounds.
In 2016, I finally hit my groove. I committed to intermittent fasting. I let myself eat all the food. Nothing was forbidden, and I found stopping power. I loved this way of eating, and I consistently stuck to my plan. In May of 2016, I finally got my BMI out of the obese range, and it’s been at or very near a normal BMI since November of 2016. These days, obesity is firmly in the rearview mirror. My daily habits support keeping my BMI in a healthy range. I walk 6 miles a day, Monday through Saturday. And I weigh every day, so that I continue to stay on track.
If you’re in the place I was, back in 2014, wanting to lose weight, but struggling, take it from me. You can do this. Yes, I did have to change. I had to stop stress eating. I had to hold myself accountable. I had to learn how to eat less and move more. To this day, I watch myself like a hawk so that I do not slide into old bad habits. But I also enjoy life a lot more, without that weight hanging over me. It has been absolutely worth every baby step, misstep and Fitbit step it has taken.
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